starting afresh

I don’t know now whether I am/should be pleased or saddened while writing this…but I sure am a very relieved man…It feels like a very heavy load has been taken off my body…Reason? I just deleted every single entry that was listed under “draft-posts” in ecto, the software that I use for posting entries on random jottings… thought I should start afresh rather than try to add a line or two, tweak this and that or try to complete entries, which, almost certainly, would have been started in a completely different frame of mind than what I have now…this saves me the pain in tweaking and trying to make the writings/posts coherent over a period of time, as well as the need to make decision on which date to use while posting – i.e., the day a post was started or the day it was completed! I won’t delete those that are written on my journal(electronic and/or paper) however, although I must admit I have in the past burned my journals full of writings so many times…I now wonder what was I thinking burning those!?!…I now believe its a lot of fun to go back to such writings sometime in the future and wonder “what the heck was I thinking when I wrote that?”. But I just couldn’t bear keeping them in ecto as draft, some for nearly a year now! Seeing lots and lots of unpublished drafts was like adding more and more weight onto my already strained shoulders (probably heart & mind too!)…

Well, you know the “minor” burn in my hand that I was talking about in my last entry? it decided to give me more trouble than I had anticipated…instead of healing, it has started getting larger…now I have this little red skin-less spot on my wrist which looks horrible, and in fact is horrible…If anything touches that skin-less spot, the pain is just unbearable. Had applied antiseptic this morning, but as I had to wear full-sleeved clothes, I put on a plaster, which wiped off the antiseptic ointment. I have pulled my sleeve up to the elbow now so that it doesn’t touch the flesh. Its gonna be a painful few days I think. On the other hand, I think I am getting used to typing without resting my wrist on the edge of the laptop now. My hands might start hurting soon but so far no problem with regards typing. In fact I have now got something to babble on about in my blog!!

By the way, a very strange thing happened this morning when I was in the shower – it suddenly stopped, the shower. We had a sudden power outage (looking more and more like it was just our house and not the whole neighbourhood!). So, the shower stopped, heating stopped, internet stopped, and basically everything stopped…we couldn’t even prepare tea or breakfast as we have electric cooker! It felt as if the life had just stopped…how dependent we are on things like electricity here!?! I was reading news about the impending load-shedding for the winter months in Nepal just a couple of days ago, and was wondering how it would feel to be back in those familiar surroundings with now unfamiliar problems. The power outage this morning reminded just how I would feel when I am in such a situation. Luckily, I was pretty much done with the shower when it stopped, so I didn’t have to wash the soap with cold water! I did have to brush my teeth and wash my face with the cold tap water however, and as you can imagine, the water was painfully cold and my hands were completely numb after that. Scrapping my plan to work from home, I rushed towards the university right away!

I have to take shower with cold water in Nepal, I keep reminding myself now!! Every day!!!

And I feel as if my mind has subconsciously decided to start the countdown for the day I leave for Delhi. For I have hardly done anything in these past couple of days other than taking care of some administrative business…such as posting letters that I need to, paying bills etc…and of course, requesting official letters from the university so that I can apply for my visa extension while I’m in KTM…I won’t bore you talking about the visa and stuffs here…if I start about that, I’ll probably create a mahakabya…plus, I have talked a bit about visas in some of my earlier writings…hmm…I think I have…anyway, cut my day in the office short today to go shopping in the afternoon…coming back home all tired, hanging some shopping bags, it actually felt like I am subconsciously consciously preparing for my trip back home now. Less than a week to go before I leave for Delhi, and less than two weeks before I land in KTM…very exciting stuff!!

3 thoughts on “starting afresh

  1. As a pampered Westerner, every once in a while (rarely) i consider how the “other people” live. And “other people” actually includes (or included) my grandparents and parents, for some of their lives. Living in a one room buliding, bathroom/outhouse outside, running water (cold), sometimes no electricity. So very pampered here in Mission, BC, Canada. And so very clueless.

    But then i take some (extremely small) solace that i can survive without electricity and running water – for very short periods of time, and provided i have gas for a stove to heat a wash bucket. Field Seasons. 3 weeks in a camp (ok, in the mild summer, but with mosquitoes from hell.) made me feel like a PIONEER.

    But thank goodness it ENDED. I couldn’t wait for that hot shower and comfy bed and internet connection and dvd collection…

    Have a great trip Mahesh (i mistyped that as “have a great trim” doesn’t that mean something a bit crude in the Isles?), i expect we won’t be hearing from you often, so take care.

    Cheers,

    Darren et al.

  2. Sometimes even I feel I have become pampered and Westernised Nepali with all the modern conveniences at my disposal. And among those conveniences, internet probably comes among the top few now…its hard to imagine what life would be like without the medium that I have become so much dependent on for all my information needs! So, I don’t think I’d be away from the net for long even while I’m in Nepal…which means you’ll get to read my mindless musings…or may be my musings from Nepal wouldn’t be so mindless! Anyhow, you’ll be hearing from me probably as often as you are now, or may be more…hopefully!

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